How To Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Parenting is a challenging journey, and there are moments when exhaustion takes over, and the instinct to yell at your child kicks in. It’s a common scenario, and many parents find themselves caught in the cycle of raising their voices. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore the various types of yelling, why it’s detrimental, and most importantly, how to break free from this habit.

Understanding Yelling

Types Of Yelling That Must Be Stopped

Yelling isn’t always a negative action. There are instances when it’s necessary to prevent immediate harm, like when a toddler is about to engage in a dangerous activity. However, continuous yelling, especially in states of exhaustion or anger, can be psychologically harmful to your child.

The types of yelling that need to stop include:

  1. Exhaustion Yelling:
    • Raising your voice due to stress, fatigue, overwhelm, or frustration.
  2. Anger Yelling:
    • Aggressively yelling using derogatory remarks, humiliation, and verbal aggression.

Why Yelling Isn’t Good

It Makes You Feel Horrible

Yelling takes an emotional toll on parents as well. The distress it causes is a compelling reason to break free from this habit.

It Doesn’t Work

If yelling was effective, you wouldn’t find yourself repeating it. Yelling often trains children to pay attention only when voices are raised, leading to counterproductive results.

It Does The Opposite

Studies show that being yelled at is associated with negative outcomes such as poorer academic performance, increased externalizing behavior, mental health issues, strained parent-child relationships, increased drug abuse, and diminished physical health. Ironically, these are the outcomes parents aim to prevent by yelling.

It Pushes Our Kids Away

Constant yelling can strain relationships, leading challenging children to develop negative attitudes and engage in yelling matches. Building a healthy relationship requires a shift in approach.

Breaking Free from Yelling

1. Announce Your Commitment

Hold a family meeting to discuss the importance of respectful communication. Commit to mutual respect, acknowledging that mistakes will happen but vowing to learn and grow together.

2. Build A Strong Relationship

Prioritize your relationship with your child over immediate outcomes. A strong parent-child bond motivates children to do better without the need for force or yelling.

3. Self-Care

Address exhaustion by prioritizing self-care. Ensure you get enough sleep, practice mindfulness through meditation or yoga, and maintain mental well-being.

4. Practice Catching Your Anger

Use visual reminders to pause and assess your emotional state. Recognizing anger as it accumulates is essential to prevent it from escalating.

5. Model Better Ways To Deal With Anger

Set an example by managing your own anger appropriately. Teach healthy expressions of frustration rather than resorting to aggression.

6. Time-Out Yourself

Take a time-out when needed to cool down and regroup. Returning to the conversation with a calm demeanor is more effective.

7. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Evaluate whether every issue that upsets you is genuinely essential to your child’s upbringing. Letting go of perfection and focusing on what truly matters can alleviate stress.

8. Mistakes Are Okay

Breaking the yelling habit takes time. If you slip up, apologize and discuss how to prevent similar incidents in the future. Open communication fosters a healthy dynamic.

9. Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking help from a mental health professional if breaking the yelling habit proves challenging. Therapy can address underlying issues, providing strategies for long-term emotional regulation.


Parenting is a journey of growth for both parents and children. Breaking free from the habit of yelling requires commitment, patience, and a shift in perspective. By prioritizing respectful communication, building strong relationships, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help when needed, parents can create a positive and nurturing environment for their children to thrive.

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